how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
