So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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