I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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