She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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