Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
