Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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