I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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