i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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