There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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