you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
