dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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