I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
