her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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