tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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