my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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