He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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