I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
