Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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