Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
