He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
