I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
