I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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