I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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