Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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