adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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