found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
