why didn't you poke me back
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
