Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
