You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
