So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
