oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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