you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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