So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
