what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
