so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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