If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
