Non-Jews are for practice
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
