If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
