Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
