ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
