You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
