dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
