He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
