for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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