will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
