who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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