You can't special order awesome
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
false alarm. still invincible.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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