it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
