She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize