Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
