Who wears a wallet chain?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
