You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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