she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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