Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
