i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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