Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize