It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
