I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
