All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
