It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
