I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
