3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
