Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
