Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
