Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
