Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
