he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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