shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
